he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
