i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
