this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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