You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
