Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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