Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
