Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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