I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
