i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
