Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
