therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
