somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
dude. I can hear the air.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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