Barsexuality is the new black.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up under a house in Key West
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