I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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