he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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