You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
