Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
