thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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