We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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