I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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