Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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