covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
