spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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