so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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