at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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