the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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