No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
