It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Found your dick twin last night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
