Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
