You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
