Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
