How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
