I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
