no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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