i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
