GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
