So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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