roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
