Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
