I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
