I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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