I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Send help, water and tortillas.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
