My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
