Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
