I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
