I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
