My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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