whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
