She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
