Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
