i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
