I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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