I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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