oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
